New Book; Chapter I-III

“Every citizen [should] be a soldier. This was the case with the Greek and the Romans and must be that of every Free State” –Thomas Jefferson, 1813

 Chapter I

“Mommy, my back hurts”, Lillianna said tearfully. She was with her parents, Sara and Johnathan, in the back yard playing on her swing set. This was the third day she had complained about her back hurting. Lillianna is very shy and only talks when she has something to say, even to her parents. Her parents had become accustomed to this in the 2 years that she had been talking. They had met in college. Johnathan was to be a doctor like his father, and Sarah had been studying to be an interior designer. They both went to Duke University, a school known for their medical program as well as for interior design. They married shortly after college, while Johnathan was doing his residency at the local hospital. His parents, especially his father, did not like the idea of them marrying so soon. They thought Johnathan should wait until he had completed his residency. But Johnathan loved Sara, and there was no stopping them, regardless of his father’s disapproval. Shortly after marrying, they had Lillianna.

Johnathan asked Lillianna to come over and let him take a look at her back. When he lifted up her pink shirt, he saw a small bruise on her lower back, right at the spine. He had looked each day that she had complained, touching her back in different places and asking if it hurt, but this was the first time he saw the bruise. “Lil, have you fallen down anytime in the last few days” Johnathan asked. Lillianna shook her head no. “Sarah, I think we need to take Lil to the doctor… she has a bruise on her spine. I don’t remember her falling at any point in the last few days, and a bruise on her spine could be something serious.” Sara was much more easy-going than Johnathan, and didn’t think that everything required a doctor’s visit. “Let’s just wait a few days, and see if it goes away on its own” she said. Johnathan adored Sarah, and though he thought Lillianna should go to the doctor now, he succumbed to his wife, as he did most of the time. Sarah went and got some children’s Motrin for Lillianna and told her she would feel better soon. Lillianna didn’t want to play on the swing set anymore, so they all went inside to watch television. Lillianna wouldn’t watch anything but cartoons. That was all that would keep her attention, so they turned on a movie, her favorite, Snow White. Lillianna lay on the short sofa and was entertained by the movie. It was about 4 p.m., a late nap time for her, but she had been having so much fun on the swing set that her parents just couldn’t find it in them to make her go inside to take a nap on such a beautiful day. Durham, North Carolina was where they called home. They had a starter home, a 3 bedroom ranch-style home with an open floor plan. They had a little less than an acre of land and were surrounded by beautiful trees, their home-made garden, flowerbeds and a jungle gym for Lillianna. Lillianna fell asleep shortly after she lay down, and Sara began cooking her famous casserole dish- Shepherd’s Pie with Lamb. Johnathan took this time to look up information that would lead to possible reasons for Lillianna’s bruise. He found only one-which he had remembered from medical school- Thrombocytopenia. Though rare, this disease would cause multiple bruises on her skin, nose bleeds, and rashes, and could even lead to death. Thankfully, Lillianna only had one bruise and this calmed Johnathan a bit. When Lillianna woke from her nap, they had dinner together at their small breakfast table. Afterwards, Sara read a book to Lillianna, they watched TV, and Johnathan put Lillianna to bed.

When Sara and Johnathan awoke the next morning, they started their morning routine, a couple of cups of coffee to wake up, and then get dressed for the day. Normally, they would hear Lillianna pitta-pat-pat down the wooden hallway to their room while they were getting dressed. This morning was different. They had time to get ready for the day and did not hear Lillianna come down the hallway, so they took their time, reveling in the unexpected free time. After getting ready, Sara, who had become worried about her little girl, went to check on her. Lillianna was lying on her belly with the comforter covering almost her whole head. When Sara pulled the cover back, she saw blood on the pillow. Until now, Lillianna had never had anything more than a cold or the occasional ear ache. Sara freaked out, and started shaking Lillianna, pleading for her to wake up. Lillianna woke, slowly, and Sara saw blood above Lillianna’s lip and on her cheek, immediately Sara surmised that Lil had had a nose bleed during the night. She asked Lillianna if she had woken up during the night and she shook her head no. Sara asked if her back was feeling better, and Lillianna shook her head no again. Sara lifted up her pajama top and saw three more bruises, all on her back. Sara was scared; for her family, for her only little girl. Lillianna did not want to get out of bed, she said she felt bad. Sara let her lie there while she went to Johnathan and told him of Lillianna’s condition, and his stomach sunk. Two of the four signs of thrombocytopenia were there; the bloody nose and the bruises. He told Sara of the particular condition that he thought Lillianna might have, and Sara’s heart began beating fast, anxiety rising up like a culprit in the night. They had to get Lillianna to a doctor, and soon.

Chapter II

Sara and Johnathan were both very worried about their little girl. They took her to Duke University Hospital, where Johnathan was completing his residency. Since he knew much of the staff, they did not wait long before Lil was taken back. The Chief of Surgery, Dr. Allan, was close to Johnathan and his family. He had even gone to their wedding a little over four years ago. He knew David, Johnathan’s father, from his own residency at Duke University Hospital. David had moved south and was a practicing physician at Montgomery Trauma Center in Montgomery, Alabama. David had been one of Dr. Allen’s favorite residents, and he hated to see David leave, but David went to the right place; a trauma center where there was always action and people to save. Dr. Allen took a look at Lillianna and, speaking to Johnathan only, said that the symptoms could be a sign of thrombocytopenia. He said he would do thorough testing to rule out any possibilities of that disease, and any others that might be the cause. Dr. Allen was very straight forward with Johnathan. Always had been. He told Johnathan that Lillianna might need to stay overnight for testing. Johnathan relayed the message to Sara. He didn’t use all of the doctor lingo, just the basics. But still, Sara took it bad. Even so, she couldn’t reveal her feelings in front of Lil; she had to stay strong for her baby girl. While Sara sat with Lil and calmed her down, saying that they were just going to do a few tests and then they would get to go home, Johnathan went to the gift shop and found the biggest teddy bear he could find. He tied some balloons to the arm of the bear, and for good measure, he bought a small bouquet of sunflowers; Lillianna’s favorite.

When Johnathan made it back up to the 5^th floor, he walked into the room with his bundle of gifts for Lillianna. He was shocked to not see her lying in the bed. He set the teddy bear and flowers down and looked out into the hallway. Nothing. Walking back in, he saw that the bathroom door was closed but the light was on inside. He knocked and heard Sara’s voice call out “come in”. When he entered, he saw Lillianna hunched over the toilet and holding a wad of toilet paper to her face. Sara was hunched over her, rubbing her back. Another nose bleed, Johnathan thought, and he was right. He immediately ran out into the hallway to find Dr. Allen and update him on Lillianna’s status. Dr. Allen finished talking to a patient, and then ran with Johnathan back to Lillianna’s hospital room. As soon as the nose bleeding stopped, Dr. Allen ordered immediate testing to rule out thrombocytopenia. They were all hoping at this point that Lillianna did not have some sort of horrible disease, but they would have to wait on the testing to find out.

The first thing Dr. Allen did was a complete physical exam. He found that there was major pain at the site of the bruising. He then did a CBC, a complete blood count, to check Lillianna’s platelet count. If it was normal, this would rule out thrombocytopenia. He did other testing to rule out reasons for the nose bleeds and the bruises on Lillianna’s spine. After multiple tests, Dr. Allen was at a loss. He found nothing wrong with Lillianna. Even though Dr. Allen had found nothing wrong, he asked that Johnathan and Sara keep her overnight in the hospital for observation. During the day, Lillianna had 2 more nose bleeds, and her bruises became worse. They were bigger, there were more of them, and they had changed colors. Sara was relieved that Dr. Allen had not found anything wrong with Lillianna, but at the same time worried that something worse could be the cause. Something that the doctor had not checked for. She remembered a movie she saw once, about a girl who had Myeloid Leukemia, which started with Myelodysplastic Syndrome. In the movie, one of the first signs of the disease was multiple bruising on the back and nose bleeds. She mentioned this to Johnathan, who truly believed in Dr. Allen’s diagnosis, but Sara persisted. Even though she was normally easy-going, she was now truly scared for her daughter. She asked Johnathan about Myelodysplastic Syndrome, and what the first symptoms would be. Johnathan responded that if Lillianna had it, she would be short of breath, weak, fatigued, have blood in her stool or in her urine, or bleeding gums. Though not all signs might appear at once, he agreed that it might be a possibility, but with the CBC coming back negative, that it was not probable. Even so, to appease Sara, he asked the doctor if he would do a bone marrow aspiration to find out if Lillianna’s bone marrow was affected. The doctor explained that there were not enough symptoms of Myelodysplastic Syndrome to do a bone marrow aspiration. To his surprise, though, Johnathan pleaded for this to be done, to rule out all possibilities. Dr. Allen told Johnathan that it would put Lillianna in unnecessary pain. Johnathan agreed, but still persisted on the test. To ease his mind, to ease Sara’s mind. Dr. Allen asked if there were any more nose bleeds or bruises, and when Johnathan said yes, Dr. Allen agreed to do the test. As he prepped Lillianna for the test, Sara tried her best to ease Lillianna’s mind, saying that this needed to be done, that it would hurt, but only for a few seconds. That they would take Lillianna to the toy store once she was out of the hospital and get her anything she wanted. That made Lillianna smile, even through her tears. Though there was bruising on her back, that was where Dr. Allen decided to stick the needle, since the bruises on her spine were there, he thought this would be the place to truly find out if Lillianna’s bone marrow was affected. Lillianna cried as Dr. Allen stuck the needle in, and pulled out fluid from her bone. Once it was over, she was taken back to her room and she fell asleep quickly. She woke up a few times during the night, crying from the pain. Sara, who always sung to Lil when she couldn’t go to sleep, started singing a soft lullaby each time Lil woke. After about 2 a.m., Lillianna fell asleep for good. While her parents were restless, and got little sleep, the morning came slowly for them. The results of the bone marrow test came back later that morning: negative. Dr. Allen said there was not much more that he could do, but to keep a close eye on her for the next few weeks. He prescribed Motrin and Tylenol for the pain, and sent them home.

Chapter III

            Parker had been there as long as he could remember. Being raised by teenagers, the youngest of which were thirteen. Most of the teens that worked with the babies were girls. Some of the older girls supervised this, and that was their daily work. Parker remembers having been a baby and being taken care of by a girl very young. She had been taken from her home at the age of thirteen, and though she had a hard time adjusting, she fell in love with Parker and sang him lullabies to put him to sleep at night. Her name was Lisa, and from what he could remember, she was very pretty. She had long blond hair, blue eyes, and a very pretty body. He often called her mommy. She would correct him, in the beginning, because she knew she was not his mommy, but after a while, she started feeling like he was hers. She protected him from other little boys, and sometimes she had to protect him from the older boys, who would tease him for calling her mommy. For this reason, and because she liked taking care of him so much, she allowed him to call her mommy. But only when it was just the two of them. She had gotten in trouble herself before for protecting him from others. The Elders thought that it was best that the teenage girls not get attached to any one child, as after age four, they may never see the babies again. Also, to prevent this, the children were sometimes rotated from one teen girl to another. Especially if the baby was acting out, not adjusting well to the environment, or in general misbehaving. In that case, the child would be given to another teen, until they were perfectly matched and the child no longer misbehaved. Since Lisa did so well with Parker, she was able to take care of him for a full 4 years. Except for Parker calling Lisa mommy, there were no incidents of which either of them could get into trouble from. And once Lisa found out that Parker would be taken from her if they became too attached, she told Parker that it was their special secret, and it was a game to only call Lisa mommy when others were not around. Parker understood this; though he slipped up a few times right after Lisa told him this. When he slipped up, she would spank him; to prevent the Elders from thinking she was too nice or too protective of Parker. He stayed with Lisa until he was 4 years old, when he was taken from baby care and mainstreamed into the next oldest group of boys, ages 4-6.

He had a rigid routine now. Up at 6 a.m. and breakfast in the mess hall. Afterwards, he had been taught to help the older children, ages 7-10, on their chores until noon. The chores were not fun for anybody. But they had to be done. Making the beds was a personal chore, done every day by every child. At noon, he was ordered to take a two hour nap. Whispering to a friend during nap time was forbidden. And any disobeying caused painful results. After nap time, they had lunch and then they were allowed to play in the yard until 6 p.m. At that time, they were to wash up, with the assistance of the older children, and go to the mess hall for dinner. After dinner, they were expected to go directly to bed. No television, no playing with toys, no soft lullabies to sing them to sleep, just darkness. He was used to this by now; he was almost 5 years old. But the silliness in every boy comes out sometimes. This particular week, he had a few of those nights. The first night, he had crawled out of his bed, slid under two more, and made it to his best friend’s bed, where he climbed in. They started playing with rocks collected in the yard, acting as if the rocks were people. A grown-up; the one that was there every night to watch over them, heard the noise and detected where it was coming from. They called him Mr. Midnight. He had dark hair and dark skin and often times, the children could not see him coming in the dark of the night. Mr. Midnight thought it was a great name; thinking that the children respected him by calling him Mr. Midnight, since he was there to make sure the kids fell asleep and stayed asleep all night long. Mr. Midnight walked between the beds, using his flashlight to detect movement in any of the beds. When he caught Parker in another child’s bed, he threw the covers back, grabbed parker by the back of his shirt, and threw him into solitary confinement. No bed now; just hard floor and darkness. Parker was scared; he had never been in solitary before, and he was afraid of the dark. He cried and cried and cried. Eventually an Enforcer came in. This was bad news. The Enforcer grabbed parker and threw him against the back wall. Parker cried harder. The Enforcer told Parker that if he cried any more, there would be severe consequences. This stifled Parker’s cries into small hiccups. The Enforcer was satisfied, and walked out without another word. Parker was not as scared knowing that the Enforcer was outside, even though he knew to Enforcer was a bad man. At least if anything scared Parker again, he could scream and the Enforcer would come back in. Fortunately, though, he did not see the Enforcer again until the morning. He did not come in to bring Parker back out to the rest of the group, he came in to serve Parker his breakfast. Parker asked if he was getting out of solitary confinement, or The Box as they called it, and the Enforcer said no. Parker spent all day and night in there again. Getting his meals, and sitting on the concrete floor for the rest of the day. He had noticed, at daylight, that there was a small window at the top of the wall. It looked small, probably the length of his arm tall and the length of his arm wide, but Parker was not sure exactly, because he was young and did not really know measurements. He saw three bars in the middle of the window. While he sat there during the day, he looked out that window and imagined that he was a small bird; one that would be able to fit in the window, that would be able to fly out the window, one that would be able to fly out of here. Oh, the things he would see. He could hardly imagine what was outside this compound, since this is all he ever really knew about. To think that he had parents was beyond his imagination, because he had never seen them; though he had heard from Lisa about parents. She told stories of how nice they were, how much they loved her, and how they lived in a home that had carpet on the floors, glass windows to look out of, beds with four posts on the corners, televisions where they could watch the news, or movies, or cartoons. She told stories of her mom and dad, of how they would go on vacations together and how once she had seen the Pacific Ocean. She even swam in the water. Imagining all of this, to Parker, was difficult. He had no idea what an ocean was, what movies were, what carpet looked like, anything. But to him, it sounded like heaven. A place where anything could happen; where he was not restricted by concrete walls and rows and rows of beds. Where he could eat dinner at a table with his family; not in a mess hall with a bunch of boys and girls, not one of them older than 18. He imagined as best he could, though, and imagined of getting out of this place someday, of seeing the world that Lisa had talked about.

 

edited/removed excerpt from rough draft

 

And eventually, that happened. He felt something crawl over his leg, and he screamed. The Enforcer entered quickly and told Parker to shut-up, or he would be in bad shape by daylight. Again, he threw Parker against the hard concrete wall, and walked out. Parker knew now that crying would cause him more pain from the Enforcer, so he wept quietly, rubbing his back as he did so. It was sore, and he was sure it was bruised.